Scene Music

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Everyone has their own ideas about what kind of music sets a good tone for a scene. Some people prefer classical music because they think that it is classy. Some prefer whatever music they normally listen to because music isn’t really something that they think of as part of the scene.

For me personally, I prefer Goth/Industrial because it makes me feel like a Dominatrix. Here is a list of some of the music I would recommend if your taste is anything like mine.

Let’s start with a band called element a440. You probably don’t know them, but you should.



My second-favorite scene music is definitely Faderhead. The track I wanted to embed is called “Like a Rocket,” but they don’t have a video for it. So, here’s one that’s a little more low-key but still good.



I also really enjoy some older music that still has a good sound to it. I have been a fan of Rob Zombie for sexytime since ever since.



As far as music that never gets old, I don’t think that I could ever be sick of Manson. I am an old-school Goth from way back, so I can’t really help myself. I love Manson. And all his songs make me feel sexy because I remember dancing to them at The Nile and Transylvania and other Phoenix Goth clubs when I was young and hot and awesome.



I also like to get a little harder sometimes, so I include some metal. When I am flogging someone in a soft and teasing way and then a really good metal song comes on, it makes me really let loose. Children of Bodem is my favorite, and it doesn’t get better than Needled 24/7.



I also adore Hardwire because they are really what Industrial music is all about, and sometimes you just need to feel like you are in a torture chamber in an abandoned warehouse.



I think the important thing is to think about what music makes you feel sexy and powerful. Do you love punk? Do you feel empowered listening to Hardcore industrial? Okay. Then through that on your playlist for a scene. It’ll help you get into the right headspace, and that is really the hardest part of kink for most people.

Female Dommes

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I get a lot of questions from women about how to dominate men. I have written a few posts about it before, but since everyone asked for more:

First: It is all about attitude.

I use music to get into the mood. I like Selfless, Element a440, Hardwire, Faderhead, and Children of Bodom. I find them to be very empowering bands. I put on my clothes and set up the scene I want to play while listening to loud music. Setting up a scene is really important because you want to have all your toys out where you can reach them. It breaks the scene up if you have to stop and go looking for something.

Second: It’s all in your head.

Yes, you can whip your sub. You can tie them up, blindfold them, spank them, and force them to pleasure you. There are definitely a lot of dominant actions that you can do to another person.

However, it’s not so much the whips and chains that matter. Most of BDSM is selling the idea that you are in control and helping your sub get into a headspace where they are yours. You can do this with words, actions, or whatever makes you feel comfortable. I like to make sure to push them into positions and manhandle them in such a way that they feel forced into each position, but like I said, you can also use verbal degradation or anything else you want.

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Third: The problem with penetration.

There is definitely a perception that being fucked is a submissive act. The problem there is that men have penises; even submissive men. And they want to stick them in things. So how do you deal with that?

Well, one way is to take control of every aspect of it. Lay back and tell them exactly what to do. Instruct them on how fast they can go, make them stop when they are getting into it, and don’t let them cum without permission. Use subtle forms of control to ensure that even when you let a sub male penetrate you, they know that you are the one in control.

And of course, you can always get a strap on, lay down on the couch, and tell them to fuck themself. Make sure to use lube since boys don’t make their own.
Finally: Extras Help.

If you are having trouble finding your inner Domme, that’s okay. It’s not always easy. So start by buying yourself some sexy leather or vinyl so you can feel like you look the part. Get some fuck-me boots and practice walking in them.

Then get some toys. Yes, you can use rope or gear ties for cheap DIY bondage, but that won’t help you feel powerful (unless it does, in which case you rock!) However, most of us feel more empowered by leather cuffs. One, it eliminates the hassle of tying knots that your sub might get out of. Two, it looks cool and feel fun to put on them. And try out all the whips at the store until you hold the one that makes you feel like a Goddess.

I know, gear is expensive. And to some it may not be necessary or worth it. But I know that on the days when I am just not feeling it, putting on my vinyl helps. And so does pulling out and arranging my whips and cuffs and floggers and such.

This is just a few things that I find helpful, but as always, do your thing.

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Music to have Kinky Sex to

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I am often asked what is good dungeon music. This is largely a matter of opinion, and I can’t tell you what you should listen to when you have sex.

That said, here are some of my favorites:

Element a440, Kookie Kutter

Faderhead, Aim to misbehave

Hardwire, Sex Slave

Rammstein, Pussy (Sadly censored)

Selfless, Clarity

Note: All I could find was a live video on youtube, but if you can find any of their albums they are absolutely divine to do kinky things to.) 

Hedley, Don’t Talk To Strangers

Note: I just like this one because I am a cougar most of the time.

So obviously anything my Nine Inch Nails or Marilyn Mason is good for a dungeon environment. Once at a play party we ended up watching LMFAO videos because the power of laughter can not be underestimated. *Shrugs*

I personally like a lot of heavy metal like Children of Bodeom and Cradle of Filth. I recognize that this is not for everyone. But if I want to hit someone hard, it really helps. Plus it’s good for what I guess you called fucking. Porn-style sex, you know? I like that…